The. Absolute. Perfect. Name.

My husband picked it on the day I found out I was pregnant. Still, we had considered others. How about Ivy? Millie? Lucy? Daisy? So many hours of this speculation. Trying them on with the middle and last name that we knew. Laughing at funny combinations. Wondering what nicknames could follow. Putting it together with my older son’s name, knowing how often they’d be said together. All of those names were good, but none were The. Absolute. Perfect. Name. The one he stated on day one was it. There was no doubt. It is everywhere. It’s on the growth chart that hangs […]


Ever since E told me that she is a boy in our very first bathtub talk, she has maintained her “don’t tell anyone” stance. She knew I would tell her dad, my husband, but beyond that, the door was locked.   Her sense of herself as a trans person was always something that she wanted to keep just there, with herself. A few months ago, she began to express her fear. The fear of people thinking she is weird. The fear of losing her friends. I have always tried to comfort her at these times, reassure her. She always just listens, […]

Life As Me

E is in fifth grade, so in our school district, that means that next year she will go to middle school. A kid like E can’t just go off to a new school without some prep. So I met with her current principal and school counselor to start the conversation about what E needs in her new school. Let me say a few words about the administration at E’s school. The principal is a woman who is everything you want a principal to be. She is a leader, a mother, a person of compassion and good sense. When she talks […]