Dear President Obama

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Dear President Obama, I’m writing today to thank you. Nearly two years ago, my youngest son socially transitioned to claim the male identity he always understood as his. As his parents, my husband and I worried about what his friends might think, what their families might think. We hoped that he wouldn’t lose anyone that he loved. We thought about how he would be treated, if he would be safe. If you have talked to other families like ours, you know difficult and stressful it is. We were also brave. We stood upon a steady foundation that made us surefooted. We thought that if anyone […]

Lucky

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I feel very, very lucky. My family has its challenges – perhaps more than most.   But honestly, most of the time I walk around in a state of happiness that we’ve got it so good. It could be so different. We’ve got the ultimately uber-important basics: a roof over our head, food on our table, general good health, jobs. But we also have a family of four – three of which absolutely support the littlest one, who is transgender. Our extended families support him too. We do not live in fear of some family member discovering a secret. We do […]

The Older Brother

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My older son, S, is approaching seventeen years old. Through this whole process with E, I’ve always had S in mind. S was fourteen when E first verbalized his claim that he was a boy. I thought, this is not the kind of attention a teenager wants on his family. When a child is gender non-conforming or transgender, it affects every member of the family. In a way, we all transitioned. S is a solid, intact kid with a very clear sense of self. He keeps his emotions close and is not one to do a lot of sharing about […]

Disney Three Ways

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E is a lucky kid.  She has been to Disney World in Florida 3 times.  Well, 2 ½ times, I guess.  The first time, she was in utero.  Our older son was 5 at the time. I did a lot of fastpassing and sitting on benches while my husband and son hit the rides since being pregnant prohibited me.  Once E got to be about 4 or 5 years old, many of her friends were sharing their Disney adventures and she would ask and ask – when can I go?!?  We would joke with her that she, in fact, had […]